June Reflection 2020 // 2020 πŸŒŠ

Hey popcorns! 🍿

How have you all been? I haven’t posted for nearly two weeks but the blogging mojo was seriously non-existent which seems to happen a lot to me?! so I decided to wait until today to type up my June Reflection post.

Usually my posts are quite positive? I love how I’m putting a question mark there! I like to think they are anyway πŸ˜‚ Well this post might not be as positive because I just feel like if I didn’t say any negative things that happened I’d be lying about what my month was really like.

It wasn’t all bad but there were definitely a lot of events that I need to put here, hopefully it might help me sort through them and make me a feel a whole lot better!

Also my KIP chapter updates will definitely be a lot less intermittent in the summer… time is just not something I have a lot of right now but I appreciate how patient you all are and I am determined to also post my book update/library haul next week! And then I’m going to get out some AWESOME summer themed how did summer come so fast though?! book AND bucketlist themed posts!

So keep your eyes peeled (has anybody ever realised how painful that phrase sounds? Like ouchie).

Also feel free to skip to whatever category interests you!

I’m actually going to bullet point in this category and in a few others because it’s just easier to gather my thoughts that way πŸ’–

  • Moved/ing school. This definitely deserves top bullet point as it has to be one of the scariest things I’ve done in life because I am cautious AND rule-abiding and have absolutely NO interest in putting my life in danger, like full stop. For all your Americans that is the British way of saying period πŸ˜‚ Moving school definitely ramped up my anxiety levels and I was just so worried how everyone would perceive me, and so scared of being all alone. It was definitely an experience and the nerves have settled down quite a bit but I’m definitely not quite yet relaxed.
  • Can I really do this? It was a question that I literally kept asking myself as moving school was such a test of my confidence in who I am, my social skills and generally who I am as a person. I did find myself generally doubting myself a lot and thinking my personality was dull to everyone else’s and I wasn’t going to fit in and just some very toxic thoughts but I’m definitely feeling a lot better about it and I know realise how much I was generally underestimating myself!
  • English desk trauma story. where once again, Amber strikes again and totally digs herself her own hole to jump into πŸ˜‚ So first of all, I actually turned up to class on time but when I walked into the library (it’s our temporary room with all this covid dramas) literally all the desks were full. You basically have the exam desks all spaced about 3m apart (it’s crazy) and I literally couldn’t see one free anywhere except the very, very, very front row where there was no-one sitting there. I have to do the awkward please-stop-staring-at-me walk and once I’d got to the seat in front of EVERYONE I realised I was literally on my own, in the font row and everyone could see me. And then, just to really place the cherry on top of my burnt cake, there was actually a free seat on the left row in the middle so it looked like I specifically went to the front. The only good part was I did manage to make friends with a guy who was sitting diagonally behind me so I get the universe really does have a plan for me?!
  • Stressing about September. I generally have a lot of worries for September, one being that my bus leaves at 7am and I don’t get home till 4:30pm which basically means I might as well just sleep at school… I’m just not used to those long school days and I have a feeling my energy levels are going to crash and burn. Also I don’t want to sound up my ass here but it’s basically a selective school so you have to be of a certain intelligence to go which means that what you are learning in class that is fast paced and I’ve already done one maths lesson and I feel like I may be studying all the time for the next two years of my life just to keep up and get the grades that I am aiming for πŸ˜‚
  • What am I studying? I just thought I would share with you all the subjects I’m going to be studying (I’ll list the core subjects first UH why do they make you take science?!) and then the last four are the ones I chose but you had to take a language but here goes nothing: English, Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Graphic Art, Music, Geography and Spanish.

I’ll switch between positive and negative in these bullet points πŸ˜‡

  • Family conflict/drama. I don’t want to delve into this one too much as I’m honestly too ashamed to actually have to type this out but someone basically came into my life and left as quick as they came and it really left me feeling numb and people are always saying ‘to trust people’ but how can I be so trustful when things like this show me how easy it is for someone to slam it right back in your face like it meant nothing to them?
  • Started finding natural remedies instead of makeup. This was definitely a big one! It doesn’t work for everything but definitely for the dark circles under my eyes I now use a serum and every morning for around 3 minutes I hold these cooling re-usable eye pads that say Forever Unicorn on them LOL I really wish I could get ‘I’m Busy’ written on them so people wouldn’t interrupt me! gently below my eyes and I usually read my book on my phone but it honestly just calms them down so much and makes them a lot less puffy and dark.
  • PMS hit me, HARD! If you don’t know what PMS is then you lucky- inhale, exhale Amber. Sometimes I just feel like I literally need to write off a few days of each month to feeling de-motivated and just generally fed up. I had some seriously crippling cramps (alliteration, my English teacher would be proud!) too and there was me when I’m younger ‘I cannot wait to start becoming a woman.’ Uhm, no πŸ˜‚ I’ve also been really trying to build in some healthy eating habits but they literally flew out the window because the sugar craving is insane. I feel like there are tiny people in my head shouting ‘I want sugar!’ constantly on repeat and the more I ignore them the louder they shout 🀣
  • Worked out every single day of June. See the thing is working out for me isn’t a chore or something I have to do it’s actually a hobby now and something that just slides nicely into my day. It definitely wasn’t always like that but I really feel like I nailed the working out lifestyle in June which was a lovely positive to my month and definitely has me feeling lot more body confident. I’m a solid believer in loving your body, no matter the size, but if you don’t then there are definitely a lot of ways you can change it and help boost your self esteem because beauty isn’t a tiny waist and miniscule legs.
  • Shoulder pain stress. Every time I get stressed my shoulder muscles tense up like every other human being on this planet Amber and I always feel my left shoulder tingling and then the next day I’ll wake up and it will be really stiff and sore which is exactly what I’ve been having this past week with everything going on. I know there are people who have it a lot worse but it just means I’m in a lot of discomfort trying to concentrate in class which is not fun at all!

I actually took all of these pictures (except the bottom one) myself and I want to use my own graphics for these sorts of posts so you can literally see what my favourites have been πŸ’– oh my gosh we’re already at 1.4k words…

Lighting my candle and evening reading time! June’s greatest joy was definitely at the end of the day where I’d climb into bed and finally get time to treat myself to at least half an hour’s worth of reading. Nearing the end of June, I’ve been getting to bed so late that I’ve just crashed straight asleep and my reading definitely wasn’t up to it’s best. I absolutely love the candle I got for Christmas from my best friend, it has this delicious coconut-y scent and generally gives my room a whole new vibe.

Using my scent steamer. I haven’t used this for a few months as I go into stages of having it on for long periods of time to barely switching it on once a week. I definitely enjoyed switching it on in the evening so that when I came to bed my room smelt incredible and all the aromas really helped to soothe me. I also think the light on it is awesome and there are so many scents to choose from, it’s crazy πŸ˜„

First day at the beach + lots of paddleboaring! I’ve already formed some incredible 2020 beach memories which has been really lovely and days at the beach are, in my opinion, the best kind of days! I just love going to isolated beaches that are empty because the only way to access them is by the sea, anyways I cannot wait to make more beach memories in July!

Fruit bowls. I absolutely loved making myself fruit bows full of strawberries, pineapple, melon and many other fruits! They are super filling and super good for you, ever since online school I’ve definitely been able to widen my range of foods because I have the time and appliances to use and also it’s very tricky bringing food to school and trying to keep it healthy without it getting boring. If you feel me, you feel me!
13 Reasons Why - Wikipedia

Thirteen Reasons Why. I actually started the first episode of season 3 quite a few months ago and then for some reason aka finding the vampire diaries I just stopped watching but I watched the whole of season 3 in June which was epic! This show has become so much more than Hannah Baker, like who even was she again?! πŸ˜‚

NF - No Excuses (Lyrics) - YouTube

Favourite quote. Honestly this quote doesn’t apply to everything but I feel it definitely applied to me as I was always saying ‘I’m too tired’ or ‘but I really don’t want to’ or ‘I’ve been at school all day’ but I needed to stop making excuses to get out of my responsibilities, when it comes to exercise I usually feel ‘too tired’ but that’s actually because I need to exercise, believe it or not exercise will make you feel more energised.

Here is quick Amber’s Reads Online June News Feed:

  • I posted my first discussion post on Makeup (which you can read HERE) and it was genuinely so interesting to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions on the subject
  • I’ve fully decided on a posting day of Saturday for KIP chapters and Wednesday for general posts IF I have time
  • Manage to get my award count down to 4 because the blogger who nominated me for a few has literally disappeared off WP?!
  • I posted four times in June which isn’t awful but isn’t amazing either
  • I decided that I should probably do some blog hopping in July and discover a few new blogs instead of just looking at the ones who follow me

– MOST POPULAR POST –

I actually got a few new bloggers commenting on this post which was lovely!

– FAVOURITE POST TO WRITE –

Definitely, I loved the structure of this post!

I read a total of 3 books in June, that’s okay though! I’m definitely going to aim higher for July but i have a feeling that August’s book count will be off the roof because I’m in summer holidays πŸ˜‚

Night Study, The Chronicles of Ixia by Maria V. Snyder | 9781848454484 |  Booktopia

Night Study by Maria V. Snyder, #5 Chronicles Of Ixia. The characters in this book were defined and very interesting compared to the other books but I just think the decisions that are being made are just ridiculous, and then they get all upset when there are consequences which is just *facepalm*. The plot ranges from a fast pace to sometimes slow and boring and the descriptions can be very and almost too detailed sometimes.

Fangirl: Amazon.co.uk: Rowell, Rainbow: Books

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. This book has gone to my Goodreads bio, yes it’s that good. I don’t know why I clicked with this book so much but I just did, I felt every word of every page. The descriptions were beautiful and the characters, I need a Levi in my life okay?! Why can’t guys be like Levi though. I didn’t care much for her twin sister Wren but I thought every character was there for a reason, this book is adorable though. Please read it. It’s so light and fluffy and heart-melting-ly cute.

Amazon.com: The Enemy (An Enemy Novel) (9781423133124): Higson, Charlie:  Books

The Enemy by Charlie Higson. This book is so good that it rivals The Maze Runner, ad if you don’t know me then I love TMR a lot, like a lot. There was a lot of character development in The Maze Runner compared to this book but I still fell in love with the characters and may have shed a tear or two for a few! It’s a dystopian, set in post-apocalypse times book so right up my street but I just think the concept is so clever and the writing is so powerful and effective, you know the best part? It’s a 7 book series… *cue the squeals!!*

June Goals Reflection: 5/7

  1. Carry on using my workout routine and mood tracker βœ”οΈΒ 
  2. Blog 6 times (3 of them will be KIP posts) ❌ only blogged 4 times, oops!
  3. Read 4 books ❌ only read 3, eek!
  4. Start the 1.5 litre water consumption a day challenge βœ”οΈ I did start it… I just never finished it hehe!
  5. Give myself a break once in a while βœ”οΈ Yes I started taking some downtime
  6. Find healthy snack alternatives βœ”οΈ Made these delicious nutty bars!
  7. Fizzy drinks on Fridays βœ”οΈ Yes it’s only one can a week now!

July Goals

  1. Blog 8 times (4 of them will be KIP chapters)
  2. Read 4 books
  3. Survive & finish my transition to my new school
  4. Make a summer bucket list
  5. Run a new (possibly longer) route
  6. Don’t fall back on obsessive habits
  7. Curl ALL of my hair
  8. Discover at least TWO new blogs

This took so long to write up but like El said it really was therapeutic to go back over this month and it finally feels like I’m ready for whatever July throws at me, trust me 2020 I’ve seen it all, we all have!

Wishing you all a wonderful July, I hope 2020 might go easy on us all this month πŸ˜…

Care to share anything about your June? Could you relate to anything in this post? What do you snack on when trying to eat healthy?

ps. YOU TOTALLY GOT THIS!! ☺

28 thoughts on “June Reflection 2020 // 2020 πŸŒŠ

  1. I hope that your school change has gone well and that you’re staying safe and well in the world right now. I kind of relate to your shoulder aches but for me it’s my neck and I don’t know why. I turned funny last week when I woke up and something popped. It seemed better the other day but going on the computer to get some of my blog posts edited made the ache return -_- and I love mango as a healthy snack, especially when it’s half frozen if it’s really hot out.
    I’ve somehow never read anything by Rainbow Rowell but I really hope to change that this year. And once again I hope you’re well.

  2. I loved reading this post, I feel like we’re close friends lol. I’m jealous that you find working out as a hobby, I’m just thinking about doing it I feel so tired already πŸ˜†. OMG I don’t know what happened with 13 reasons, it became like a crime show lol I still loved it though, you should watch season 4!

    I also wrote a review back then on Fangirl
    https://mygiganticthoughtbubble.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/fangirl-an-introvert-writers-book/ Loved that book I related so much with Cath 😊

    1. Thanks so much Joana! Awh that’s great ❀️ That’s okay, it wasn’t always like that πŸ˜‚ Try find an activity that you particularly enjoy when it comes to working out and it might make it a little easier! I totally agree, it went a bit AWOL, I’ve nearly finished season 4 which is crazy and I’ll be sad to see the end 😭

      I’ll check out that review post right now, thank you for linking for my convenience! ☺️

      1. I’m trying to work out though even if I hate it, there’s nothing much to do this quarantine. πŸ˜†

        Oh yeah, I cried on the ending of 13 reasons. I didn’t see that coming. πŸ₯Ί

        1. Awh no! I’m sorry to hear you hate it, one day it will creep up on you that if you stopped working out you’d miss it. I totally understand! 😌

          I’m about to finish it tonight and omg I don’t wanna cry πŸ˜‚

          1. Yeah, maybe I will finally learn to enjoy it if keep on doing it πŸ˜„

            OMG don’t read this if you have’t finished it yet,

            but this show have killed so many characters πŸ˜… But I don’t really get it why they have to kill this last one, he had a great character development on this show.

            1. For sure, you got this ❀️ Ah it has!! I don’t understand why he died either, I really didn’t see it coming though at all. I only have 30 minutes left of the episode so I definitely plan to finish it today

  3. i’m so sorry that your mental health wasn’t the best in june, amber!! (honestly, i’m starting to think that june was awful for everyone bc i had a pretty bad month too ugh) but know that we’re all here for you and you’re amazing. ❀

    ahh those pictures are so pretty!!! your cozy reading evening sounds like so much fun, and omg i’m glad to hear that you had fun at the beach! yessss fruit bowls are so delicious! πŸ˜… i’m so glad you enjoyed most of the books you read in june, and don’t worry, you did so well on your goals as well!

    good luck with all your july goals, you got this πŸ₯° i hope you’re having a beautiful month so far!! πŸ’–πŸ’–

    1. It’s totally okay Ash, we all have bad months right?! Awh no I’m sorry to hear that, always hear if you need to vent about anything and I’m pretty sure June was the universal bad month too πŸ˜‚ Oh my gosh thank you. 😭

      You really think so?! Thank you! Yes it seriously was, and the beach was epic πŸ’• They are and super fun to make too! Yes they were really good and thank you, I’m starting to accept that it is okay not to smash every goal!

      Thank you!! I feel like I may need it 😭 You too, July seems t be smooth-sailing and wrote 1k words of my novel today which is 1k more than I’ve written the past THREE months πŸ˜…

  4. Love to have you part of the June really sucked club! πŸ˜‚

    School sounds so stressful right now & I really hope your new school works out for you! I’m sure you’ll be able to make lots of friends because Um you’re awesome! BUT WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOURSELF CATCH A BUS AT 7???
    At least it’s nearly the summer holidays though so I hope you have a nice break before GCSEs creep up on you! πŸ’•

    1. Haha yes how much does the membership cost?! πŸ˜‚

      Ah it is but summer is here so I can finally just take a breath you know?! I think I aced it…? I mean it went really well and I talked to people so all was good ☺️ Aw thanks El that means a lot!! HAHA I KNOW WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO MYSELF 🀭 It’s crazy like honestly, what was I thinkingggg. Agreed, oh gosh yes! I’m definitely going to enjoy this calm before the storm of work attacks me!

  5. Part of me feels like it’s fate that the day I came back is when you posted a monthly reflection post. I’m so sorry that June was quite the up and down month for you, but your constant ability to try and look for the positive through it all has me so full of respect for you (if you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here Amber <3)

    New schools can really be hard. My dad has a job that makes us move around the country every two years, and I've been in 9 schools overall. It used to be so hard, but then there's just something refreshing about starting afresh, meeting new people, and making new relationships! I'm sure you've got that in the bag and you'll thrive (both in the social as well as the studying aspects)!

    And wow, congratulations of working out that consistently, girl, wow!! And paddleboarding sounds so lovely and peaceful!

    SO much love to you, and I hope July goes well for you! ❀ πŸ˜€

    1. For sure! Fate does definitely exist I believe ❀️ It’s totally alright Arshia, I’ve had my fair share of happy months this year and I know that it’s also okay to have an up down month now too ☺️ Gosh thank you so much!! Ah I missed you πŸ™‚ That means so much to me πŸ’“ Of course and right back at you!

    1. Hey Evin! 😊 Thanks so much πŸ’– Oo I appreciate you stopping by and I’ll definitely check out your blog ::

  6. I’m sorry to hear that June brought along some tough times. Moving school is such a huge transitioning period, it’s great that the toxic mindset has started to distance itself from you. That place will soon become the norm and despite highs and lows you’ll know that you got to this point through hard work and determination so seriously have strength within you! ✨ What I find helps the stomach cramps is Primrose Oil, I swear by it! πŸ˜‚ In the days leading up to when I’m due to start I’ll take one a day and the pain is noticably less when before It’d be excruciating so if you haven’t before and can, it’s worth a try! Ahhh lighting a candle at the end of the day sounds so nice! I’d be scared I would fall asleep and leave it lit πŸ˜¦πŸ˜‚ Scent steamers sound so neat! Would love to go paddle boarding one day but I suppose I’d have to learn how to swim first πŸ€”πŸŒŠπŸ˜‚ I absolutely loved Fangirl and am currently reading Pumpkin heads which is brilliant 🍁 I also want to re–read Eleanor & Park amidst the controversy surrounding it (I remember feeling uneasy about something within it but I hadn’t really thought about it until I saw people speak up on it). The Enemy is sooo good! I was in the middle of the second book when other reads caught my attention so I really should go back and enjoy it all over again! πŸ“š I snack on carrots but not even through trying to be healthy, I just crave them for some reason πŸ₯•πŸ˜‚ Great post! βœ¨πŸ’•

    1. Thank you Elsie! ☺️ It definitely is and I’m so happy to not be thinking those thoughts as often now. Wow! Gosh that’s so true… thank you for sharing those inspirational words ❀️ Wait really? That’s definitely something I’ll look into buying becomes sometimes they can be so sore πŸ˜– It really is! Haha yes it’s definitely a fear of mine but it’s kind of next to me so I seem to remember! Yes paddle boarding is amazing and yes for sure!! I do live on an island (not like a tiny island but it’s minuscule compared to the uk) so it makes sense that I know how to swim I guess?! Oh my gosh it was so good! I will definitely check out Pumpkin Heads πŸ’“ Oo I’ve never heard of that one but I definitely want to read it now so I can have my opinion on this controversy πŸ˜‚ Ah tell me about it!! Yes you should definitely return to it but I totally understand that it’s so easy to get side tracked by other books ☺️ Ooo that sounds yummy and I totally get you! I find the crunch so satisfying in carrots haha πŸ˜‚ Thank you!! I appreciate your comment πŸ™‚

  7. Oh my God I loved reading this post – it was so great catching up and seeing what you were up to! I’m so sorry to hear that a lot of downfalls in June for you and I totally got you on the issue of trust even though I’ve never had a trust trial before. I still see the world through the lenses of SpongeBob SquarePants but I’m trying to be a little more realistic. Things will happen in your life that will definitely teach you to be more cautious but that doesn’t mean that we need to close all the doors to new people in our lives. There’s a lesson in all situations so if you ever want to make a post talking about trust and some tips for who oo trust – it can definitely help people! But I am glad that you are taking more care of yourself finding natural alternatives to makeup and food and honestly it’s so cool to see that we’re kind of like on the same page for June. I’m also trying to find alternatives to junk food and honestly my craving is just so bad that even with fruits I will go in and out of the kitchen taking fruits instead of sugar at which is definitely a better alternative but I do need to stop this habit of always needing food in my hands for some reason even when I’m not hungry. Anyways love this post so much and I wish you all the best on the rest of your goals – I’m always here for you!! ❀

    P.S. So sorry for the lengthy sentences – I'm using a voice recording to type because a). my keyboard keeps deciding when it works and doesn't and b). I want to see how I actually speak but all I see is 'likes' and rambling oops!!

    1. Thank you so much Bay! I really wanted to show other bloggers what’s been going on in my life and sometimes I feel I can be so private about those sorts of things 🀣 That means a lot and thank you for understanding, I definitely had to rant for that one because sometimes I just need to get it out. You’re so right!! I was starting to become very closed off but then I realised if I never open up to new people I will get to fully bond with someone and it’s worth the risk of getting hurt or having my trust broken if it means I can let new people in πŸ₯° That’s totally true, I think that would be a really interesting post to write and I’m definitely adding that to my list of posts that I could to write in the foreseeable future (like in 2 years knowing me) πŸ˜‚ Yes! Ah that’s awesome. Girl I totally feel you!! The sugar craving was unreal this month and it’s nice to hear sometimes that it isn’t just me struggling with these things πŸ˜– Fruit is definitely a good alternative, and oh no I hope you can get out of that habit! Thanks so much Bay your comment honestly means the world ❀️

      P.S. It’s absolutely no problem! I tired that before but then I lost my train of thought while speaking and it typed out β€˜wait what was I going to say’ on the screen and it ended up becoming a disaster of me and the voice recorder fighting πŸ˜‚

  8. Love this post!! My favorite snack is a honeycrisp apple chopped into wedges and dipped in peanut butter & chocolate chips πŸ™‚ it’s pretty filling, satisfies my chocolate craving (because literally all I crave is chocolate lol), and gives me lots of energy!

    1. Thank you so much! Thank you for coming over to my blog ☺️ Oh my gosh I’ve heard so much about that snack and I’m desperate to give it a try! Hehe don’t we all?! Good to now, thanks so much again πŸ’–

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